What would you do if...

I thought I had the brilliant idea of puting this premise to print, but I was more-or-less shot down so I put it to my nickels of readers: What would you do if...
... you had the barest of quilting tools at your disposal? I mean, I have a room full of crap I rarely ever use but, as a quilter, I am comforted by their presence (if not the actual use). I have at least three cutting mats, a handful of rotary cutters; measuring tools I can't even recount and loads upon loads of fabric. I have marking pencils for every imaginable shade of fabric & enough upholstered tables to rend an entire queen-sized quilt from scratch. I have three sewing machines of varying age (and quality) and a Singer serger that has seen less than 1 year of actual use. I have, it can be argued, more than enough to produce an art quilt worthy of (at the very least) a red ribbon. Maybe more.
So what is a kid to do when they are relocated, sans quilting paraphenalia to another city- or state or even country? How do you pick up where you left off when the tools you're accustomed to using are a thousand miles away? What is the bare minimum it takes to make a quilt?
During these difficult times (what, with my mom dying and all) I plan to not only explore but possibly exploit the potential of each quilter- or at least THIS quilter- and the pre-concieved, retail-driven notion that good quilting is the result of artifact, not artistry.

Idle Hands... and all that jazz

Of course, I couldn't possibly be content letting my mother sleep in a cold, sterile hospital bed. What kind of fabulously gay son would I be?

So I slip-covered the head and foot boards, made a tailored bed skirt (to help hide the mechanics underneath) and threw together a cute, li'l sham. Not too shabby (if I do say so myself).

All the fabric came from the local Wallie-world. I spent something like $40 for the whole kit-n-kaboodle.

Another Day In the Lost-N-Found Life of Miles

It's Tuesday, which means I have been here just over 7 days.

Today is my fathers' birthday (he turned 66) and is likely the last my mom will have been a part of. My aunt Mary Jo and uncle Paul came over for a simple Johnson-esque soiree of Mexican beef dip, salsa, Mexican-inspired pizza, margaritas and store-bought cake. I was deeply touched to see that my aunt went to the trouble of having my dads' name written into the icing.

It was, by all accounts a bitter-sweet birthday. But not one tear was shed, not a single thought was spoken that dwelled on the morbid inevitable.

We ate, drank, laughed and caught up.

It was a good birthday.

Settling in and Establishing a Pattern...

Day 3.

The hospice coordinator (Lou- female) came this morning to get the ball rolling.

I ended up signing off on most of the paperwork including enrollment in care, DNR, etc.

At roughly the same time my Aunt (Moms' older sister), Kay came for a visit with her son (my cousin), Michael. It has been about 22 years since I've seen either of them. I figure this stay in Wisconsin will be rife with visits/reunions like this. What was a little awkward was when I both greeted and said my farewells to my cousin: I typically do the hand shake thing with people I don't know (which applies to relatives, or so I thought). He went in for the full-on cousinly hug. Weird.

My aunt has not (physically) changed one bit. It was pretty surreal. On the other hand, I remember my cousin as being incredibly athletic with dark hair. I wouldn't have recognized him if we had passed each other on the sidewalk; average but not as seemingly muscular and barely any pepper left in the hair.

Some friends (Chris and "Ozzy") also stopped by for a visit. I met them the last time I was here and I really like them; super good people. Chris especially shares my penchant for over-speaking the truth as we see it. Just don't get her started on politics!

Later in the evening (at our desire to expedite the services) the hospice company delivered a hospital bed, commode and wheelchair. Now, the dining room looks like a room from the hospital we just brought her home from... weird, huh?

Another Part of the Circle of Life

I got up Sunday morning around 9 AM (yeah- I'm lazy like that).

I boarded my first flight (Bakersfield to San Francisco) at 8 PM that night.

I finally arrived in Appleton, Wisconsin around 9 AM the following morning.

After doing some much-needed housework (and really only scratching the dusty surface) I finally made it to bed (sofa?) around 10 PM.

I was awoken (sp?) by a slobbery tongue to the face at 6 AM on Tuesday.

Dad and I drove 2.5 hours to Madison and brought mom home.

We begin hospice care tomorrow.

I think I've finally caught up on the laundry.

Now if only I could tackle the rest of the house without feeling so overwhelmed.

A frivilous display in the main concourse of San Francisco. You wouldn't see this in Bakersfield, would ya?

A Crack in the Dam

I blame it on the man-a-pause.

I couldn't have been siting here for more than three minutes before the tears started sneaking their way past my well-maintained defenses. I sat down at Dagny's (local coffee hang-out), primed up the laptop to send a revised copy of a new article to my editor and watched the video I've embedded into my blog. The words "What if...." stung as though I'd been slapped in the face.

So I'm sitting here, crying into my coffee and hoping no ones' paying any attention to this drama queen over in the corner.

I'm working my ass off trying not to think on it all so I'll type it once, get it out, send it out and repair the dam.

My mom pro'ly won't make it to Christmas- the cancer has spread so far that we're simply biding time. My own lymphoma is in check but the treatment kicks my ass and I'm not the same person- much as I think mom isn't quite the same person either...

Prop 8 get's upheld so our relationship stays where it's at- struggling for the recognition it deserves.

Yet.

I want to be (AM) grateful for what I do have: A great man, some understanding friends, some skills and talents... I am not a person living without.

Tears can seem selfish and reverent all at once.

OK- I'm done.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.......

Another Crushing, Confusing Defeat

Today marks yet another blow to the Marriage Equality movement here in California and for the United States of America (which apparently is anything but "united").

This morning, the California Supreme Court uphelp Proposition 8 thereby writing into the California Constitution that a) marriage equality will not be extended to persons of the same sex except for b) those 18000 +/- couples who were fast (and lucky) enough to beat voters to the altar (voting booth).

The result is, in my humble opinion, even worse than nullifying the existing marriages. The message our illustrious Supreme Court sent is abundantly clear: Some of you (Gays and Lesbians) will have & enjoy equal rights while the rest will not.

The resulting dichotomy is both embarrassing and shameful!

California is a broken, mis-managed and dying state. The last two elections are difinitive proof of this. In last Novembers' election when Proposition 8 was on the ballot California experienced some of the highest voter turn-out ever! Earlier this month, during the budget revision special election California experienced the lowest voter turn-out in over 30 years! The message is obvious; California voters have screamed it from the mountain tops:

Tax reform and Budget legislation? I can't be bothered.

Marriage Equality? Hell No!

Obviously the residents of California are far more concerned with who I want to marry than balancing a budget or creating a tax system that actually works.

Like a Loud Clap of Thunder From on High!

Something finally clicked into place.

I won't go into the long, drawn-out (and potentially boring) story of it. Just getting straight to the point: I know what I wanna be when I grow up: I want to own/run a countryside BnB slash artist retreat slash gallery. I want it to function as much off the grid as possible (wind and solar power). I want to use recycled shipping containers as the primary living units. I want to renovate an old barn for the gallery. I want to grow vegetables. And I want to quilt in all of my free time (HA!). I think I want to relocate us to Wisconsin I where almost half my extended family lives.

So, I've begun the process of educating myself: An Art major with a business minor. I may need to finish that in WI.

How crazy am I?

I'd appreciate any thoughts, feedback, resources, links, etc.

The adventure begins!

How Much...?

OK- so I'm enrolled in school. During the summer semester I'm taking college algebra and psychology (because the fun classes were already filled and on a wait-list). But it's a solid 8 credits to get me going. During the fall semester I'm loaded with 18 credits. If I'm able to keep up the pace I should be able to complete an AA in two years, then transfer to Univeristy of California for a bachelors. What's my goal? Dunno yet. I still don't know what I wanna be when (if) I grow up.

To make a little extra dough I'm thinking of making fabric postcards to sell at a few local shops & galleries. So my question is this: What would you pay for one of these:

And here is how the backs of them are finished:


I'm thinking of selling them in little grift-sets of 4. Wrapped in paper and ribbon- you know, something gay.

So. What would you pay for a set of these 4 beauties? Be honest: I can take it.

I'm A Student... Again!

Well, I've managed to piss away almost 5 months of unemployment (has it really been that long?). I've had to take a long, hard inventory of my skills and viability as a contributing member of of the working class:

Highschool diploma: Check.

College education: Nope.

Office, clerical or computer skills: Nope.

Solid employment history: Not of you include having had 40+ jobs in 20+ years. Sigh- very sad.

Team player: Uh- no.

Works well with others? Definately not.

So what's a kid to do?

Get a degree.

Might as well use the last of my unemployment to better myself. I see a "career counselor" tomorrow to decide which term and classes I need to take. My unofficial major: Art (duh!). My minor: Business Administration. I've already taken my admissions tests (math, reading and english), been through "orientation" and registered as a new student. Come June I might be a real student... Again.